Relationship Rituals: 16 Ideas for A Healthy, Lasting Relationship
Relationship rituals, a.k.a intimacy rituals, are a couple’s microculture. They are shared activities, routines, or behaviors between partners that foster emotional connection, strengthen their bond, and create a sense of meaning within their relationship.
There are two distinguishing characteristics to creating a relationship ritual:
One must form a routine behavior, but the only way that this routine can become a ritual is if:
One associates a symbolic meaning to the behavior.
The special meaning attached to an intimacy ritual, or any ritual for that matter, is not predetermined before it is formed. It is created and understood by each party in the relationship as they creatively, intentionally, and consistently engage with one another until they realize that their routine has evolved into an essential part of their connection and life. Relationship rituals become a couple’s shared reality, a symbol of integration.
Now, this is where couples need to be very careful. When a person's routine is disrupted, they might only feel disoriented and uncomfortable. Whereas with rituals, they can suffer severe anxiety from feeling like their life has lost meaning. In relationships, couples can feel like they have lost their affirmation of love, that their bond is breaking, and these feelings can potentially lead to the end of their relationship.
But you should have no doubt that embracing relationship rituals will pay off big time. Here are some of its benefits:
● Increased mutual support
● Greater emotional intimacy
● More meaningful quality time
● An established sense of unity and purpose
● Greater sense of security
● Formed strong, enduring Bond
● Elevated perceived quality and value of the relationship
● Creation of identity or standard for observing children
Research revealed that couples with relationship rituals report greater levels of relationship satisfaction than couples without them. They also enjoy more positive emotions and stay committed to each other. Another study found that rituals positively influence the decision to marry in dating couples.
Let’s get into the intimacy ritual ideas so you can reap these benefits!
Relationship Rituals: 16 Ideas for A Healthy, Lasting Relationship
● Cook and clean together.
● Go grocery shopping together.
● Every Friday night, make snacks and watch a movie together.
● Pray together every morning and evening.
● Hold hands when you pray.
● Take walks or hikes together to enjoy nature and have uninterrupted conversations.
● Give one another relaxing foot rubs or scalp massages after a long day.
● Leave each other post-its on the bed frame, bedside table, dinner table, fridge door, bathroom door, or even in their lunch box. You can write something cute, funny, sexy, or flirtatious.
● Have a weekly date night where you take turns planning activities or outings you both enjoy.
● Take baths together. Every once a week, you and your partner can bond over a relaxing, luxury bath experience that feels like a spa treatment, only that it is more personalized, intimate, and inexpensive.
Rinse the tub and run warm water. Add a soaking salt (e.g., Epsom salt), a skin-soothing oatmeal-based cleanser, and a calming essential oil or oil blend. Put on low-key music, grab lots of towels, bring snacks (e.g., coconut chips, cheese, grapes, or berries), and finally, light aromatherapy candles. Apply a face mask on each other before going in. And what would a bath ritual be without wine? You know what to do (wink).
● Alternatively, you can shower together if your tub isn’t big enough for two. Brush your teeth together. Wash each other backs and dry yourselves off. This one is a cute and intimate couple ritual you should practice daily.
● Share online media: funny reels, memes, and articles in your partner’s field of interest or stuff that connected with you.
● In the mornings, be intentionally affectionate to your lover so they keep thinking of you and look forward to being back in your arms at the end of the day.
● Create a couple's playlist of songs that hold meaning for your relationship, and listen to it together.
● At bedtime, lie facing each other and indulge in pillow talk or stare, smiling at each other. This tip is one of the best cute couple rituals because it creates room for intimate connection, where you both can share your thoughts, dreams, and vulnerabilities, the things you love about their face, body, and soul, and the naughty things you’ll like to do—and actually move closer to do them (side eye lol).
● For the love birds who don't share the same nest, here is a long-distance relationship ritual: Eat lunch together. Consider scheduling a FaceTime if you have the same lunch hour to eat together.
This love ritual can also work to help you and your partner escape into each other midday, especially if you have kids back at home who don’t let you enjoy your meals or each other’s presence so much that you comfortably reflect on the day, tell memorable stories, or dry jokes, and stare warmly each other.
Are you overwhelmed with picking fitting love rituals for your relationship? Don’t stress. Focus on picking three (3) different couple rituals: one for daily gestures, another for date nights, and the last for intimate encounters.
When Is the Perfect Time to Start a Relationship Ritual?
Sneak it in on a special day or event (e.g., anniversary, birthday, graduation, work promotion, Christmas, Thanksgiving, sports game, etc.), or just go for it on any ordinary day.
Whatever relationship rituals you decide to go with, don’t feel boxed in or build an expectation—as it can later grow to become a burden for you or your partner. Instead, encourage full and long-term participation by being creative, fun, and flexible.
Switch up the small things (e.g., ice cream sundae instead of coffee, beach instead of football game, Monday instead of Sunday, karaoke instead of games, etc.). Otherwise, your intimacy rituals can become predictable, vanilla, and discontinued with time. You need to adapt your relationship rituals so that they match the chaos in your individual lives and become your source of peace, connection, and love.
If you’re looking for more customized help on navigating the complexities of your relationship, consider booking an appointment TODAY with Whitney B. Therapy, PLLC.